Resilience: How to Pick Yourself Up When You Don’t Get the Job

Wednesday, October 14, 2020
Remember, stress is caused by how we perceive a situation not the situation itself, says psychotherapist Rebecca Howard. “We could choose to look at the fact that we haven’t got a job yet and it’s our third rejection as a negative - but all that would happen is our mindset would shift into a negative gear and take our resourcefulness and confidence down an unhelpful dead end.”

She advocates the NAC approach - Notice, Accept, Choose - a way of thinking which means we don’t get stuck with negative ruminating thoughts about how good, or not, we think we are.

Notice that you are experiencing thoughts of being fed up, down, angry or whatever it is that you are feeling as a result of the rejections. “In times of stress our thinking tends to polarise in rigid, ‘all or nothing’ positions, seeing everything in black and white,” explains Howard.

“The process of noticing its impact allows you to begin to step outside of it, almost as an observer, and acknowledge what is happening, which in turn releases you from the mind spending endless energy.”

Accept what has happened. Many of us will think, “Why is this happening to me?” but asking a negative question leads to a negative answer, Howard explains. “Acceptance is recognising that as human beings we experience emotions, such as disappointment, and it is pointless fighting them.”

Choose to use the negative energy or stress you are feeling as a result of your setback. Having connected with the motivation behind the stress, you can channel that energy in a positive way by asking, “What can I do right now?” and “How do I do it?”

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